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Posted by julien in
Tuesday, March 25. 2008
Sweet sweet mornings sniffling to musings of chocolate flavored lingerings...
Posted by julien in
Tuesday, March 25. 2008
The morning light separates the mountains,
with green stripes of yellow.
A light breeze flys in fresh beginnings,
scents of mystic freedom.
Posted by julien in
Wednesday, October 24. 2007
Black water shimmering.
Floating, bobbing crabs, high on caffeine and nicotine,
Bear witness to geese in public displays of affection.
Posted by julien in
Monday, October 22. 2007
... in random thoughts of dimly lit rooms of blue
- makeshit rooms -
where lips of a thousand tales exchange words in silence.
Posted by julien in
Wednesday, October 17. 2007
"Let the sunshine burn your skin with the sweetness of mornings..."
... with windshields for shades - striped light cast across glossy lips and twinkling eyes.
Posted by julien in
Tuesday, October 31. 2006
if you are mute, can you scream?
and if you cannot,
what would you do to find peace?
would you seek solace in the peace of others?
would you give them peace to find solace?
-j
Posted by julien in
Tuesday, October 31. 2006
blue, oh vast majestic blue,
what lines you draw on this pale sky
that i might plunge into your eyes,
and stream down your cheeks.
-j
Posted by julien in
Thursday, October 26. 2006
if i sprinkled powdered sugar across rolling hills
would you lie with me and just forget the world?
-j
Posted by julien in
Wednesday, October 25. 2006
i yawn at this world filled with purpose...
to wake with the desire to sleep.
-j
Posted by julien in
Tuesday, October 24. 2006
21 dots
green stones and a pool
a cesspool.
a tie, a knot, a cup of coffee
a gaze onto the horizon
a stare.
an albino strand
dancing, twirling,
flirting with the scent of an angel
the perfume of the sea.
-j
Posted by julien in
Sunday, October 22. 2006
if a silver tree could dance,
arms in the air, leafless
but nonetheless twisting to the song of the green sparrow,
then you my dear, without the fig leaf,
should write.
-j
Posted by julien in
Sunday, October 22. 2006
i want to fall asleep with your scent lingering
on the ripples of my skin.
with a kiss to close my eyes.
-j
Posted by julien in
Sunday, October 22. 2006
the color yellow,
it's the reflection of the setting sun
seen through transparent grape leaves in your eyes.
-j
Posted by julien in
Saturday, October 21. 2006
it is a mood, a feeling, a statement...
of the hairs remaining on my head,
that i stand here before you in the nude,
naked to your laughter, your pinches,
your kisses.
-j
Posted by julien in
Tuesday, October 17. 2006
would you clip your wings to stand amongst us,
wrapped in blue lace,
and welcome the fallen angel?
would you exchange salvation for a piece of blueberry pie?
-j
Posted by julien in
Sunday, October 15. 2006
it's these lights that come out to play at night,
green palms of red, orange hues of asphalt,
and the reflection of a thousand cigarette ends burning
in the clouds.
-j
Posted by julien in
Wednesday, October 11. 2006
to wake to the tremors of kittens stumbling onto sundried leaves bunched up in a dimlit corner where shadows are cast in the sloping light of an early morning.
-j
Posted by julien in
Saturday, April 16. 2005
A bleak reality that forces us to rely on brittle means of communication to establish relationships.
Relationships in a void that is occupied with bits of ones and zeros, empty yet always abustle.
Not unlike the modern cities of today, with so much life, and yet not the faintest sound of a song, a tune sung by hearts beating.
Plugged in, online, detached from the world that surrounds us. We seek refuge in the abyss of aimlessness, so as not to waste a moment, and yet wasting our lives.
We are the future, moving forward, adapting changing... Into machines, the rise of the machines that is us. The beings that have become victims of their own success, driven by their own creations, slaves to their own freedoms.
It is in this eulogy that I tell the story of man, who stared at the stars long enough to forget what he was standing on.
-julien
Posted by julien in
Saturday, April 16. 2005
I want to make them believe in beautiful things
Simple things
Things that cannot be purchased
I want to make them believe in magic
Real magic
Magic that exists between people's interactions
I want to make them believe in their dreams
The impossible dreams,
Which are only uttered on warm pillows between lovers
I want to make them believe in others
In the people around them
In the people who believe in them
I want to make them believe in love
Shakespearean love
The love that knows no boundaries, no limits, and no end
I want to make them believe in themselves
The caged within them
That one day they may roam the earth free, them and themselves
But mostly, I want her to believe in me
The man she fell in love with
Who is real, who wants to make her believe
-julien
Posted by julien in
Friday, April 15. 2005
if all that remains is a vacuum
how can she hear me scream?
if the nothingness has filled her heart
how can she understand my words?
one sight, one sound, one scent
and i'm lost again
in memories long gone yet so close...
to what end?
-julien
Posted by julien in
Thursday, April 14. 2005
she sent me snapshots of her mind
but all i could see,
were notions of mine
- julien
Posted by julien in
Thursday, April 14. 2005
i went for a walk last night
she couldn't come, but she was there
we passed by this little diner
a sight for sore eyes,
but the burgers...
the burgers were sublime.
two cheeseburgers, no cornichons
a diet coke please.
we sat staring at the guy behind the bar
he had des rideaux pour cheveux
maybe not so cute,
hmmmm... check out the little jukebox.
you think i can nip one for my room?
two burgers later,
a batch of pancakes and some syrup,
we were pigs, but happy pigs,
with big smiles, grins stained with ketchup
that was the night,
like every other night,
and yet, yet,
it was a beautiful night,
every night...
after all we were together,
the food was great,
what more could we want?
-julien
Posted by julien in
Wednesday, April 13. 2005
Bubbles abound
She stands tall
Glistening white
Dressed in a smile
Drop by drop
White turns red
Rivers from channels
Form and flow
Through the valley
Around the peaks
Into the caves
Where the jungles still reign
Wild shrieks proclaim
With ecstasy and disdain
That the rivers run red
With a scent of grape
White elephants extend
Their nostrils in vain
As the banks recede
From cats lapping away
But just as the drought sets in
And the animals turn away
The rain turns red
Again, bordeaux and grape.
-julien
Posted by julien in
Tuesday, April 12. 2005
We would lie there for endless hours
staring at the ceiling,
at each other.
She would cuddle up to me,
her eyes fluttering, glittering,
and murmur in my ear.
The girl would come out,
smiling, whispering, snuggling,
telling me in her sweet sweet voice
that she'd missed me.
I held her close every time,
telling her of a future absurd,
in which the girl could come out,
and become the woman inside.
-julien
Posted by julien in
Tuesday, April 12. 2005
Imagine a city of ten million.
A steel jungle on an island in the atlantic,
and a rock in the jungle.
A girl on the rock.
Imagine a man in love,
sifting through the millions,
eyes weary, hallucinating...
...a mirage,
a girl on a rock,
the girl on the rock.
One in ten million,
the odds of a lottery.
Some win money,
others things.
I, I just smiled,
and called out her name.
-julien
Posted by julien in
Tuesday, April 12. 2005
t3arraft 3alayki bil ingleezi
wou sahartik bil faransi
bas ma 3rift 7ibbik,
illa bil 3araby.
-julien
Posted by julien in
Tuesday, April 12. 2005
Ra7 t7ibb kteer banat
2sar wou twal
shou2r wou somr
Ra7 t7ibb bkill alloghat
bil 2ingleezi wal faransi
bas mahma 7abbayt
mish ra7 t7ib min kil 2albak
2illa bil 3araby.
-julien
Posted by julien in
Tuesday, April 12. 2005
Un coussin rouge
entre ma poule et moi.
Un coussin rouge
sur sa poitrine douce.
Un coussin doux
en de sous de ma tete.
Sa poitrine comme coussin
en de sous de ma tete.
Et le coussin rouge
tombe parterre.
-julien
Posted by julien in
Tuesday, April 12. 2005
Une car de metro,
comme un universe profond.
Vingt-cinq personne,
ving-quatre mondes.
Deux livres,
deux dorts,
six cherches un autre monde.
Deux dans un monde,
sept dans leur mondes,
cinq perdues,
et moi,
moi j'ecrit de tout.
-julien
Posted by julien in
Sunday, April 10. 2005
Hay2tik w3iteh, wou w3iteh 3a wad3ik
-julien
Posted by julien in
Sunday, April 10. 2005
Ana ba3rif innak mahwous fiyye
-j'adore
Posted by julien in
Sunday, April 10. 2005
An exhausted girl.
Delirious.
I was mesmerized.
11 pm, in the morbid hall.
The elevator. That smell.
That putrid smell. Toum.
She rolls her tongue,
and stumbles into a fit of laughter.
I stood there, smiling,
I couldn’t help it,
there was something about her…
crying her eyes,
catching her breath.
Falling into my arms,
mumbling.
Incoherent words.
Beautiful words.
I stood there,
smiling.
-julien
Posted by julien in
Saturday, April 9. 2005
i lay my head down
on a beating heart
she sighed, wrapping her arms around me
hours had gone by, and yet still,
i lay still, one sock off
listening to her heartbeat.
she spoke to me of secrets untold,
of monsters under her bed.
she spoke to me in her sleep,
as i lay there listening to her sleep.
-julien
Posted by julien in
Friday, April 8. 2005
They call it a foot fetish...
The symmetry of the toes,
a step ladder to the arch where the king stands tall,
a benevolent king who listens to his people,
a people who direct their leader,
each in his place - power channelled to move the world.
Like the sail and its rudders.
The rivers run down a rugged landscape.
A ridgeline directing the blue waters
to where deltas form,
at the edge of the world.
To the Foot from Its Child
The child's foot doesn't know yet that it's a foot,
and wants to be a butterfly or an apple.
But then stones and pieces of glass,
streets, ladders,
and the paths of the hard earth
go on teaching the foot that it can't fly,
that it can't be round fruit on a branch.
The child's foot then
was overcome, it fell
in the battle,
was a prisoner,
condemned to live in a shoe.
Gradually, without light,
it started to know the world in its own way,
without knowing the other foot, shut in,
exploring life like a blind man.
These soft nails
of quartz, in a bunch,
hardened, changed into
opaque matter, into hard horn,
and the small petals of the child
got crushed, unbalanced,
took the form of eyeless reptiles,
worms' triangular heads.
And then they grew calluses,
they were covered
with tiny volcanoes
of death, unacceptable
hardenings.
But this blind thing walked
without respite, without stopping
hour after hour,
one foot and then the other,
now a man's
or a woman's,
above,
below,
through fields, through mines,
through department stores and ministries,
backward,
outside, inside,
forward,
this foot laboured with its shoe,
it hardly took time
to be naked in love or in sleep,
it walked, they walked
until the whole man stopped.
And then it went down
into the earth and knew nothing,
because there everything was dark,
it didn't know that it had ceased being a foot,
if they had buried it so that it could fly
or so that it could
become an apple.
-pN
-julien
Posted by julien in
Thursday, April 7. 2005
The secret to our intelligence lies in a herb.
The sweet poignant aroma of thyme that puts caffeine to shame.
The extended release factor that lies inbetween the molars - little seeds seeping into small crevasses.
A dose of thyme, wrapped in a soft shell, olive moist.
-julien
Posted by julien in
Thursday, April 7. 2005
She had not called. She should have called that day... i thought to myself.
That's the way things work.
The distance was necessary, but why didn't she call?
It was huge, an event that settled age-long disputes, even if only for the moment... and yet she had not called. Could she be so detached?
I never doubted her before.
I didn't doubt her passion, nor her love.
I would not start now.
......she did call.
She was the second person to call... within 3 minutes.
Three minutes.
-julien
Posted by julien in
Thursday, April 7. 2005
We live in a social orgy.
Our doors are always open, welcoming all who would venture through.
Our windows never shut, because anyone who would look through, is already inside.
-julien
Posted by julien in
Thursday, April 7. 2005
She looked at me and said, "I know you're infatuated with me."
By all means I was, but that's not what she meant.
-julien
Posted by julien in
Wednesday, April 6. 2005
I stared, as I often do, at a couple sitting side by side behind a table stacked with food.
Baffled, I asked her, why do you imagine they're sitting side by side.
She replied, "In their culture, every moment together is divine. In their culture, every meal together is a celebration, a celebration of love."
Together, side by side, they made love, in every moment of their togetherness.
They sat there, side by side, without even the hint of desire in their gestures.
Their eyes spoke of a thousand and one nights, and yet they remained still.
A passion exchanged in the darkness of the pupils.
There I sat next to her, eating peas... and I began to understand.
I turned to her and smiled, I could see the passion in her eyes.
I alone could see the passion in her eyes, sitting by her side.
-julien
Posted by julien in
Wednesday, April 6. 2005
I hadn't imagined she'd come.
I had created a place for us to meet,
without having to say hello.
A two way mirror that worked both ways.
I could see her, she could see me, and yet somehow we believed we couldn't be seen.
The dilemma of secretly admiring someone who secretly admires you.
She came looking for you, but found only remnants of beautiful words once spoken.
She came seeking solace, but found empty halls filled with words.
She had come with you, but left alone.
-julien
Posted by julien in
Tuesday, April 5. 2005
I left my better half back home.
Boarding a plane at midnight, I kissed her goodbye and tore away from my arms.
I left my soul back home.
Dwelling in another body.
-julien
Posted by julien in
Tuesday, April 5. 2005
On partira de nuit, l'heure où l'on doute
Que demain revienne encore
Loin des villes soumises, on suivra l'autoroute
Ensuite on perdra tous les nord
On laissera nos clés, nos cartes et nos codes
Prisons pour nous retenir
Tous ces gens que l'on voie vivre comme s'ils ignoraient
Qu'un jour il faudra mourir
Et qui se font surprendre au soir
Oh belle, on ira
On partira toi et moi, où?, je sais pas
Y a que les routes qui sont belles
Et peu importe où elles mènent
Oh belle, on ira, on suivra les étoiles et les chercheurs d'or
Si on en trouve, on cherchera encore
On n'échappe à rien pas même à ses fuites
Quand on se pose on est mort
Oh j'ai tant obéi, si peu choisi petite
Et le temps perdu me dévore
On prendre les froids, les brûlures en face
On interdira les tiédeurs
Des fumées, des alcools et des calmants cuirasses
Qui nous a volé nos douleurs
La vérité nous fera plus peur
Oh belle, on ira
On partira toi et moi, où?, je sais pas
Y a que des routes qui tremblent
Les destinations se ressemblent
Oh belle, tu verras
On suivra les étoiles et les chercheurs d'or
On s'arrêtera jamais dans les ports
Belle, on ira
Et l'ombre de nous rattrapera peut-être pas
On ne changera pas le monde
Mais il nous changera pas
Ma belle, tiens mon bras
On sera des milliers dans ce cas, tu verras
Et même si tout est joué d'avance, on ira, on ira
Même si tout est joué d'avance
A côté de moi,
Tu sais y a que les routes qui sont belles
Et crois-moi, on partira, tu verras
Si tu me crois, belle
Si tu me crois, belle
Un jour on partira
Si tu me crois, belle
Un jour
-jjG
Posted by julien in
Tuesday, April 5. 2005
Et même si le temps presse
Même s'il est un peu court
Si les années qu'on me laisse
Ne sont que minutes et jours.
Et même si l'on m'arrête
Ou s'il faut briser les murs
En soufflant dans les trompettes
Ou la force de murmures.
J'irai au bout de mes rêves
Tout au bout de mes rêves
J'irai au bout de mes rêves
Où la raison s'achève
Tout au bout de mes rêves
J'irai au bout de mes rêves
Tout au bout de mes rêves
Où la raison s'achève
Tout au bout de mes rêves.
Et même s'il faut partir
Changer de terre et de trace
S'il faut chercher dans l'exil
L'empreinte de mon espace.
Et même si les tempêtes
Les dieux mauvais, les courants
Nous feront courber la tête
Plier les genoux sous le vent.
J'irai au bout de mes rêves
Tout au bout de mes rêves
J'irai au bout de mes rêves
Où la raison s'achève
Tout au bout de mes rêves
J'irai au bout de mes rêves
Tout au bout de mes rêves
Où la raison s'achève
Tout au bout de mes rêves.
Et même si tu me laisses
Au creux d'un mauvais détour
En ces instants qui déssèchent
La face de nos amours.
Je garderai la blessure
Au fond de moi tout au fond
Mais au-dessus je te jure
Que j'effacerai ton nom.
J'irai au bout de mes rêves
Tout au bout de mes rêves
J'irai au bout de mes rêves
Où la raison s'achève
Tout au bout de mes rêves
J'irai au bout de mes rêves
Tout au bout de mes rêves
Où la raison s'achève
Tout au bout de mes rêves.
-jjG
Posted by julien in
Tuesday, April 5. 2005
Days had gone by.
She had once told me that we should never be apart for more than 6 weeks.
She said, "Seeing you every 6 weeks is the only way to temper my desire for you, which if left unchecked..."
6 weeks, and then an eternity in a fleeting moment...
Chaos theory might well explain how I found you,
seeking nothing,
finding you hidden midst a vast collection of bootlegged music.
I did not know who you were until I met you,
I did not know what I wanted until I heard you,
and so were your words...
Cette lettre peut vous surprendre
Mais sait-on ? peut-être pas
Quelques braises échappées des cendres
D'un amour si loin déjà
Vous en souvenez-vous?
Nous étions fous de nous
Nos raisons renoncent, mais pas nos mémoires
Tendres adolescences, j'y pense et j'y repense
Tombe mon soir et je voudrais vous revoir
Nous vivions du temps, de son air
Arrogants comme sont les amants
Nous avions l'orgueil ordinaire
Du "nous deux c'est différent"
Tout nous semblait normal, nos vies seraient un bal
Les jolies danses sont rares, on l'apprend plus tard
Le temps sur nos visages a soumis tous les orages
Je voudrais vous revoir et pas par hasard
Sûr il y aurait des fantômes et des décors à réveiller
Qui sont vos rois, vos royaumes ? mais je ne veux que savoir
Même si c'est dérisoire, juste savoir
Avons-nous bien vécu la même histoire ?
L'âge est un dernier long voyage
Un quai de gare et l'on s'en va
Il ne faut prendre en ses bagages
Que ce qui vraiment compta
Et se dire merci
De ces perles de vie
Il est certaines
Blessures au goût de
Victoire
Et vos gestes, y reboire
Tes parfums, ton regard
Ce doux miroir
Où je voudrais nous revoir
-jjG
-julien
Posted by julien in
Tuesday, April 5. 2005
I sat there on the balcony overlooking the river.
I was supposed to be working, but work was the last thing on my mind.
I had fallen in love.
There, staring at the river, I drifted off...
She had shown herself in a blinding flash of light.
Her silhouette catching me off guard like the shadow which makes you stumble.
Stumbling into her eyes, as she stared at my creation,
a distraction, catching her off guard,
to stare, if only for a moment, in awe.
To stare... when one is knocked senseless by the sheer beauty,
gaping at the madness of reality.
My laptop was whining away in the background,
playing random songs...
Là-bas
Tout est neuf et tout est sauvage
Libre continent sans grillage
Ici, nos rêves sont étroits
C'est pour ça que j'irai là-bas
Là-bas
Faut du coeur et faut du courage
Mais tout est possible à mon âge
Si tu as la force et la foi
L'or est à portée de tes doigts
C'est pour ça que j'irai là-bas
N'y va pas
Y'a des tempêtes et des naufrages
Le feu, les diables et les mirages
Je te sais si fragile parfois
Reste au creux de moi
On a tant d'amour à faire
Tant de bonheur à venir
Je te veux mari et père
Et toi, tu rêves de partir
Ici, tout est joué d'avance
Et l'on n'y peut rien changer
Tout dépend de ta naissance
Et moi, je ne suis pas bien né
Là-bas
Loin de nos vies, de nos villages
J'oublierai ta voix, ton visage
J'ai beau te serrer dans mes bras
Tu m'échappes déjà, là-bas
J'aurai ma chance, j'aurai mes droits
N'y va pas
Et la fierté qu'ici je n'ai pas
Là-bas
Tout ce que tu mérites est à toi
N'y va pas
Ici, les autres imposent leur loi
Là-bas
Je te perdrai peut-être là-bas
N'y va pas
Mais je me perds si je reste là
Là-bas
La vie ne m'a pas laissé le choix
N'y va pas
Toi et moi, ce sera là-bas ou pas
Là-bas
Tout est neuf et tout est sauvage
N'y va pas
Libre continent sans grillage
Là-bas
Beau comme l'on n'imagine pas
N'y va pas
Ici, même nos rêves sont étroits
Là-bas
C'est pour ça que j'irai là-bas
N'y va pas
On ne m'a pas laissé le choix
Là-bas
Je me perds si je reste là
N'y va pas
C'est pour ça que j'irai là-bas
N'y va pas ...
-jjG
-julien
Posted by julien in
Tuesday, April 5. 2005
Je voulais simplement te dire
Que ton visage et ton sourire
Resteront prés de moi sur mon chemin
Te dire que c'était pour de vrai
Tout ce qu'on s'est dit, tout ce qu'on a fait
Que c'était pas pour de faux, que c'était bien.
Faut surtout jamais regretter
Même si ça fait mal, c'est gagné
Tous ces moments, tous ces mêmes matins
Je vais pas te dire que faut pas pleurer
Y a vraiment pas de quoi s'en priver
Et tout ce qu'on a pas loupé, le valait bien
Peut-être que l'on se retrouvera
Peut-être que peut-être pas
Mais sache qu'ici bas, je suis là
Ça restera comme une lumière
Qui me tiendra chaud dans mes hivers
Un petit feu de toi qui s'éteint pas.
-jjG
Posted by julien in
Tuesday, April 5. 2005
J'voulais t'parler d'ma vie, c'est rare quand ça m'arrive
Un moment suffira, y'a pas grand' chose à dire
Passé trente ans et je sais, au moins j'imagine
Je n'aurai jamais mon nom dans les magazines
Vois-tu, je suis de ceux que la foule rassure
On ne peut être rien que parmi des milliers
"Has been" avant d'avoir été, c'est un peu dur
Ma vie tout l'monde aurait si bien pu s'en passer
Je te dis pas les peurs, les lueurs et les flammes
Je te dis pas le sang qui fait cogner le coeur
Je te dis pas ces moments si froids et si pâles
Et son visage qui justifiait mes heures
Je suis de ces gens là qui ne choisissent pas
Tu peux bien penser que ces vies sont des vies vaines
Mais le hasard invente et colorie parfois
Quand je pense à tout ça, ça m'colle la migraine
Pourquoi vendre toujours quand y'a tant à donner
T'as beau m'expliquer qu'ça fait partie d'un système
Il me faut bien des pilules pour l'avaler
Je te dis pas les peurs, les lueurs et les flammes
Je te dis pas le sang qui fait cogner le coeur
Je te dis pas ces moments si froids et si pâles
Et son visage qui justifiait mes heures
-jjG
Posted by julien in
Friday, April 1. 2005
She called me late at night.
She said, I want to fly.
I said where to?
She said, i just want to fly.
She wanted to show me the world, late at night.
She said, let's go for a walk.
I said why not.
Late at night, she led me to the top of the world, and told me to look down.
She said, I wanted to bring you here, late at night.
It was our first time. Hers and mine.
That night, we learnt to fly.
-julien
Posted by julien in
Thursday, March 31. 2005
Lighting a candle. I burnt my thumb.
Twice I held the lighter upside down.
Twice I blackened my skin.
And yet, the second time I smiled.
I lit a candle for my sweet tangerine.
A rose, red, and purple candle.
Why we believe that the flame brings luck is beyond me.
But I smiled nonetheless, burning my finger, knowing that if only for today, I had detached myself, from myself, through the flame, to be with her, in the flame, next to her, during the exam.
Mon ame assit aupres de son ame.
-julien
Posted by julien in
Wednesday, March 30. 2005
I once stayed up 5 days straight.
I had 5 years of math to study.
5 years to study, 5 years to remember, and 90% to achieve.
This was the final exam, of a second attempt at a Calculus course.
The first two exams I had royally fucked up.
This I had to ace.
Imagine realizing that you had 5 days. 24 hours a day, to pull together 5 years.
The capacity of the bewildered mind is humbling.
To purchase 24 bottles of Red Bull.
To consume red bull, and be consumed by red bull.
Every formula, every exception, every rule, every tidbit posted on a white wall.
A white wall covered with 5 years worth of mathematics.
Imagine all that information sitting above the rim of your glasses, staring at you from a distance.
It was all so small. Such small print to fit it all. And yet, there was no other way.
As I sat there, solving problems. Problems they called them.
Whenever I got stuck, I got up and sought the solution on the wall.
The wailing wall.
24, 48, 72... the hours trickled by, and soon I realized that I had become one with the wall.
5 days. 1004 problems solved.
I got up. Drudging through the scattered solutions I made for the fridge.
Awake with 4 cans of red bull, skipping to class. Delirious, on the brink of insanity.
There I sat scribbling the answers - the answers scribbling themselves through the caffeine in my veins. In front of me the wall of knowledge, appearing through the lids of my closed eyes.
I achieved a 97% on that exam.
And yet, the very next day I had forgotten everything.
The mind, it seems, is self aware.
-julien
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Friday, March 25. 2005
Searching the skies for Cassiopeia.
Half a moon. A tall building. A full moon.
How a distant object could bring people closer...
And I thought to myself. There's that distinct possibility that she's looking up, seeing what i'm seeing.
The moon is a rock in the sky.
A mirror reflecting light.
Light is a wave, but also measured as matter.
At 384400kms, it would take about 2 seconds for light to travel from my eyes to hers.
Call it a delayed sensation.
-julien
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Friday, March 25. 2005
In seven days she'll take the exam. The exam.
The exam. How horribly definitive.
So much has revolved around this exam. An exam that means so much, and yet proves so little. Much like all exams.
A test of your capacity to prepare, to sustain the pressure, the will power to go it all.
But not a test of your true ability to perform.
That's why there are two types of good test takers.
Those who challenge the test to a duel of wits. And those who exhaust all possibilities that would enable a challenge. To the latter the test will be no more than a brute force hack.
Intelligence is a measure of the extent to which the solution is unique and simple.
-julien
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Monday, February 14. 2005
It started with a song, of course, a song about love, of course.
"Every time I said I loved you, I said I would die for you, and when you left, and I did not die; I loved again, and again, I said I would die...."
If you knew that the relationship would not last... If you knew for certain.
If you knew that every relationship would not last... What of that?
Would it be that you would find refuge in ephemerial relationships - that which would not need to last, that which you would not need to dread.
So the relationships become voyages... How could you not enjoy a voyage? A trip that always brought you back home - home where you always find refuge.
Or... could it be that, you live not in the future, but rather in the present. Even in full knowledge of the future, you find yourself intoxicated in living, in being, in experiencing all that which love has empowered you with... living it until the end... even if the end is tomorrow.
You see, we cannot afford to be rational. We cannot afford to learn from our past, when it comes to love. It's one of those things that must always stumble upon, even if we've stumbled before. For every instance of love, somehow manages to be unique, so unique that even the same stumblings seem different.
And so we walk down the path, blinded, like the blind, and yet with every fall, we pick ourselves up, with renewed vigor and will to see, though we are no less blind.
And so it is, that we will love again, and die for love once again...
~ julien et edith ~
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Sunday, February 6. 2005
Here I am sitting in a public library, surrounded by books...
I've just returned to my seat, having strolled the aisles, covered, column after column with books, with words, with knowledge.
Here, midst these walls of knowledge I feel I know nothing, and yet I am empowered. The knowledge of the existence of knowledge. The absurdity of that statement.
The knowledge of the presence of knowledge, on tap, within reach, almost as if... within me.
To walk into a room, and become instantly omniscient, if only within the room.
Hearing voices, of writers, authors, poets, philosophers, playwrights, a symphony of instruments, books, where each can be heard distinctly, and yet altogether there's a harmony. One can hear the music, or choose to zone in on a particular voice.
To open a book, to select a voice, and listen, to the soul, words, character, emotions...
So much more than a fleeting voice, heard once, interpreted once, contemplated without depth, contemplated forever, and yet always stuck in that moment in time.
Within these walls slumber the souls of the dead, living, lingering upright, stacked against one another in anticipation to reveal themselves, their innermost selves to anyone with the will, just the will, to remove them from their idleness.
Yet they do not complain, nor fidget, for in their eternity of being, they never have a moment's rest.
These libraries, where the quiet is filled with noise. Isn't it absurd?
- julien
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Sunday, February 6. 2005
So I sat there, with a cup of ear grey tea, thinking to myself, "This cap is absurd! Not only does it smell of plastic, but it also keeps the aroma of the steaming tea from my curiously strong sense of smell."
It had been a while since my last attempt at convincing the guy next to me from punching me due to my incessant open-mouthed chewing. My usual approach started with a, "it tastes better this way", but soon turned into a full-fledged theory on chewing.
When one chews, there tends to be a need to 'taste' the food, prior to the act of swallowing. This tasting is a two-fold process, starting in the mouth, on the tastebuds, and moving into the nostrils, back and forth as the chewing develops. The nasal effect exists due to the movement of air between the mouth and the nose, seeing as they are directly connected.
With the mouth closed, however, the passage of air (in the act of breathing) avoids the mouth, limiting the food aroma to the capacity of the tastebuds (which are quite limited in comparison to the superior nose).
Thus, in opening the mouth, one enables a double entry/exit passage, creating a natural flow of air [as with opening two windows across a room] that swirls the aromas up to the nose, in effect doubling the 'taste' of the food.
This not only applies to chewing, but also drinking, where it is best known as "slurping". Slurping increases the surface area at which the liquid comes in contact with the air, allowing for more evaporation.
Both are known for their added soundeffects... but if you think about it, would it really matter if everyone was doing it?
A cacophony of slurps, crackles, and pops to add yet another sensory element.
- julien
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